the Atlanta-Area Spanking Society

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Are you a bottom, or a switch who is planning to bottom? Here are some tips for you, especially if it’s your first spanking party.

1. You are at a multi-day spanking party. You don’t want to wear yourself out too soon, and you definitely don’t want to wear any tops out too soon. As a general guideline, on Thursday and Friday you should stick to hands and lighter implements, maybe some light wood or canes on Friday night, and then graduate to the harder spankings and heavier implements on Saturday and Sunday.
2. “No” is a complete sentence. If you ask someone to play, and they say “no”, that is not an invitation to ask them again later. However, if they say “not right now” or “maybe some other time”, you can ask later — within reason.
3. If you as a bottom (or switch) say “no” and someone is pushy or doesn’t respect that “no”, speak to a party organizer immediately.
4. It helps to get to know the person a little before you ask them to play with you. Exchange names, ask where they’re from, ask if they have any pet pictures they’d like to share (okay, maybe this one only works on some people), ask if it’s their first spanking party. You might still get turned down if you then ask to play, but this gives you a better chance of at least making a friend.
5. Bratting is not an invitation to play. Bratting is an invitation to discuss play. If you are a brat, or have bratty tendencies, keep this in mind.
6. If the person you’re playing with is new to you, take some time to find out what they like and inform them of what you like. Be honest about it. Negotiate the scene and stick to what you negotiated. Especially if there’s going to be implements in the scene.
7. Tops are not psychics. If there’s something you need a top to know, you need to tell them.
8. Not all tops are also dominants, and not all doms are your dom. If you’re a sub as well as a bottom, don’t assume everyone who’s going to spank you is a dom.
9. If you are at the party with your partner, dominant, usually-exclusive top, etc., expect that they will be asked to play. That’s not intended to disrespect you; spanking parties are simply more casual when it comes to pickup play. Talk to your person about what the guidelines are when they are asked to play before it happens. If people usually need to ask your person permission to play with you, be clear about that when you’re asked to play.
10. This is not a BDSM party (except in the dungeon playspace). In any play space except for the dungeon, the primary play should be spanking-focused.
11. Safewords are not negotiable, so use them as needed. “Yellow” means “pause/check in”; “red” means “stop”.
12. Talk about aftercare before the scene so the top knows what is expected. Be reasonable about your aftercare needs; hugs, quiet chat, water, snacks, etc.

If you have any questions, please seek out a party organizer for assistance, either in person or on our Discord. We’re here to help.